Asking for Help

Psalm 71:12 - Do not be far from me, my God; come quickly, God, to help me.

There can come a time, if we have a chronic health condition, when we can no longer function on our own. It can be especially difficult when we’re used to doing things our own way. I know it was for me.
 

• I used to drive myself wherever I needed to go, and so it was hard to ask for help and then accept it. That was the hardest part – Accepting the help.
• I used to be able to do household chores and pick up my groceries – But then I had to go with someone and when their schedule allowed for it.
• I used to have people over for dinner and game night – But soon I didn’t have the energy to do so. This disappointed my family.

 
The hardest part for us is to trust other people to fill in the gap for us. Trust can be a difficult thing for a lot of people, so even in this we need to believe people will help us and not feel resentful for doing so.
 
Yet, it is also our responcibility when asking for help to not seem needy. If you’re being needy, you can be sure you’ll get a lower response rate from your friends and family. They may see you as someone who is asking for something all of the time. This can wear on relationships.
 
Here are a couple of my suggestions and then I’ll share what others have suggested:
 

1. Pick and choose wisely what you want help with. It may be that the dirty dishes can wait until the morning when you have more energy instead of asking for help. But if you need someone to take you to the doctor the next week, that’s a true need.
2. Watch the words you say. Try to ask for help without saying words like, “please will you help me?” as you speak in a pleading voice. Try saying instead, “I know I’ve asked you for help in the past and you were generous to help me. Would check your schedule and see if you could take me to the doctor next week? Thanks!”
3. Be truly grateful for their help. Let them know it makes a big difference in how you feel when they help you. Appreciation will go a long way instead of nagging.

 
Take a look at some additional thoughts from, oneofmany.co.uk in their article, “How to Ask For Help Without Being Needy.” When you ask, don’t pre-empt a no. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming their answer will be a no. Also, receive the help graciously and when the other party has a need, be ready to help them.
 
It’s been seven years now since my health declined and I needed to ask for help from others. Though it was difficult to do so then, now I can see God’s handiwork upon my life. He has shown me that I don’t need to feel ashamed for asking for help. Ultimately even when asking someone to help me, it’s really like asking God for that help.

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