Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
One of the challenges that people who have chronic pain is that you have to wait on others.
It’s all about waiting for life to move forward. It’s also about times when:
It really boils down to patience and trust.
We must trust that someone who said they would help us and never shows up, has a good reason why they didn’t arrive:
What can you do about it? Have a plan B. Have someone who can take you to appointments or shopping as a backup.
Yet, to those who are helping us, we must give them grace. Especially if they call you and let you know they won’t be able to help you that day. Maybe they can come another day to help. It’s just that they can’t help you that day.
Here are some tips from aplaceformom.com, in their article, “How to Maintain a Positive Relationship with Your Caregiver,” which provides us some tips on creating and maintaining a healthy relationship with a caregiver, such as addressing problems delicately. Problems will happen, whether it’s not showing up to work and not yelling at your caregiver. In addition, creating a safe environment, encourage and respect healthy boundaries, have a contingency plan for emergencies such as a sick child, but by developing backup plans for having someone else to step in temporally.
Also remember, we are also called upon to wait for the LORD. Be strong and take heart. Your caregiver may not have been able to take you for a ride. But God can find others who will step into their place and help you. Always have a backup plan.
Psalm 77: 3-5 – I remembered you, God, and I groaned; I meditated, and my spirit grew faint. You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. I thought about the former days, the years of long ago.
If you have a long-term illness, or a disability, there are things that you just can’t do:
And this lack of being able to do things can lead to severe depression and loss of a sense of self-worth. No matter where you turn, with time, even more areas of your life feel impossible to do. Even making decisions can be difficult.
But if you need a caregiver, whether it’s a family member or one from Social Services, all is not lost. With the help of a caregiver you may find your needs being met, and your sense of self-worth raised. It takes a person with much patience and a kind heart to help someone in need.
Some people seem to be born with the ability to see and feel the hurt in another’s life. And if you’re the one suffering from a disability, you have a unique viewpoint. Don’t stay shut up in your own little world. Reach out and you may find someone who needs your viewpoint and it may help them move from being shut in to reaching out to the world.
Take a look at the article, “A Point of View: Happiness and Disabilty,” on bbc.com. The post talks about how people with disabilities can still lead a life of happiness. There’s a difference between being born with a disability and those who become disabled. People born with a disability have nothing to compare with their existence. Whereas someone who becomes disabled can feel profound depression. Quality of life can still return to a place where you were before you were disabled.
Keep your focus on the good things in your life and you can find the depression that chases after you dissipates and you’re left with joy in your life once more. Find things that you can do and you’ll stop focusing on what you can’t do.
The Bible verses above speak about how the psalmist thought about his former life and groaned as he thought about them. He felt that God had forgotten him. We too can feel like God isn’t caring about us anymore, that the years of long ago joy won’t come back around, but they can. You can mediate on the good things in your life and find yourself enjoying today more. Even if you need help from others to do for you the things you can no longer do.
Leviticus 19:32 - “‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.’”
There comes a time when those who suffer from chronic pain or an illness can no longer do some of their daily activities.
Vacuuming and cleaning the floor can cause pain in your neck or back and these chores go out the window.
Just standing in front of the sink washing dishes can bring pain to the neck and back and especially for those who’ve suffered a previous injury.
Doing laundry also becomes difficult to do with the lifting and bending that is needed to complete the task.
If the infirmed individual can no longer drive due to vision problems or difficulty turning their neck they need help.
Shopping for groceries becomes difficult.
You become more aware each time you attempt the tasks above that you need help. But asking for help can be hard to do especially if you’ve taken care of your needs without help in the past.
A visit to your physician confirms what you’ve known was coming and he says that it’s time to get some help.
So the search begins to find a caregiver to help you with daily tasks and taking you to doctor’s appointments.
How do you know who the right person is to help you? You’d like it to be a family member, but you know with their busy schedules and their own families to care for, it may not be possible for them to help you.
The next step is to find a caregiver. In some situations, the infirmed person may qualify for a free caregiver. Check with your local county office of Social Services.
Whether you qualify for free caregiver providers or need to hire one on your own, find some tips for selecting a caregiver in the article, “5 Important Tips for Selecting a Caregiver,” on claritycareadvocates.com, such as determining the type of care needed or the individual needing to be monitored more closely.
In addition to the tips in the article above, whether a caregiver is sent by a social services agency or from the private sector here are some questions to ask a potential caregiver during the interview process from the article, “How to Choose a Caregiver,” on insideeldercare.com.
Needing to find help to take care of yours or another individuals needs takes effort in order to find the right fit. God especially watches over those who are infirmed and their needs. Trust that he will be with you each step of the way when finding someone to help.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.