Matthew 10:31 - So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
When you hang up the phone or end a conversation in person, do you immediately begin an internal conversation criticizing yourself for what you just said? Do you feel like you’ve said the wrong thing? Even your line of thinking can come into count.
And on and on it goes. Each day you tear yourself apart; doubting all of your recent and past conversations with others.
When you have questions about your worth and value, it can be easy to turn your conversation clothing inside out.
Sometimes the reason you beat yourself up so much is that other people criticize you as well. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells with some people; especially your family.
Your family knows your weaknesses and if they hold something against you they may attack you through your conversations to try to make up for what they feel you did to them.
But even if you win an argument that you have with your family or friend, it doesn’t always help. You still tear apart the argument and find ways you could’ve said things differently.
So what does all of this have to do with chronic pain or an illness? When we are in physical pain it can cause us to be handicapped in our conversations with others. We don’t always think as clearly, whether just from the pain or from the medications we take. This then also adds to the weight of how little we think of ourselves and our conversations.
Here are some ideas in the article, “Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic,” on huffingtonpost.com to help you learn to stop being so critical of yourself such as asking yourself, “What would my best friend say.”
You may find that as you learn to stop your inner critic, you won’t take apart conversations you have with someone. We all make mistakes, but healing can begin when we let go of those mistakes and start including some of the suggestions in the article above. You might also discover that you do have worth and value after all.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.