How Do We Communicate Our Needs to Others?

Romans 8:26 – In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us though wordless groans.

Many times, I keep my chronic pain to myself because I don’t want to burden others.
 
But hiding and then pushing yourself to cover up just how bad things are only pushes you to the brink physically and mentally.
 
What can happen when we are overtired and out of strength is that when we communicate, we tend to use a “whiny” vocabulary.
 

• “I know how busy you are and all, but I don’t think I can add what you want me to do to my day.”
• “What do you think? Am I doing okay? Are you mad at me? You know I’m trying my best.”
• “Ah, come on. Don’t look at me like that. You make me feel like I’m worthless when you do that.”
• “Isn’t there someone else you can ask to help you with your project? Yes, I know it’s time sensitive, but I have to go lay down now in the break room. Or I may have to just go home and rest.”
• “What’s for supper? I don’t know. I’m just not up to even figuring out what we can eat. Yes, I know you got take-out last night, but would it hurt to get something again?”

 
On the other side, here are some other things that we do when we’re overtired.
 

• You feel yourself running out of air. That’s how tired you are, but you’re afraid to tell anyone what’s going on.
• You stuff and stuff. You push and push. You want to tell others what’s going on, but you just don’t.
• “Can you hear it? Can’t you see me? Don’t you recognize what’s happening?” These are your thoughts, but they never become your words.

 
I may be afraid to talk to others, but they still need to know what I need and want without it becoming “whinny.” Being willing to tell others that you’re not faking it and that you have to tell them what’s really going on is the only real choice you can take to preserve your sanity. Be honest, but you must also communicate that you are willing to find a solution and not just run away from it.
 
Chrisakins.com post the article, “6 Ways to Effectively Communicate Your Needs,” and gives us a glimpse on how to improve our communications skills. One eye opener is realizing that we often say something and expect that the other person is going to understand what we’re saying the way we understand it. We can’t read other people’s minds and we can’t expect others to be able to read ours. So, the responsibility of the direction of the conversation rests upon us. Something important to do is to be aware of your objective. What are you trying to communicate? What is the purpose? What are the key points?
 
And don’t forget, there is one who never tires of listening to you even if you’re using that “whiny” vocabulary. The Holy Spirit can help you know how to pray even if it’s only one word – Jesus. There’s power in that name and there’s power in our reaching out to God. So the next time you feel your pain spinning out of control, don’t hide it. Turn to God with your complaints and then let others know what you need and how they can help.
 
Key words: over-tired, how to communicate, communicate our needs, our tone of voice, Holy Spirit communicates

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