We all make mistakes from time-to-time, so why is it so difficult to admit when we’ve blown it and then move on?
 
I think people with type “A” personalities have a hard time when they make a mistake because they need to do everything perfectly.
 

• They can’t let themselves fail.
• They don’t want others to see them as a failure.
• They believe they can cut corners or do whatever it takes to succeed.
• They don’t want anyone to help them.
• They need to have people think they’re better than everyone else.

 
But what they don’t truly grasp is that by pretending to be right all of the time, it pushes other people away.
 

• Others don’t like someone who isn’t willing to admit they fail every once in a while.
• Others offer to help, but are turned down by type “A”.
• Others do see them like failures no matter how hard the type “A” tries to say otherwise, because we all fail sometimes.
• Others see the corners type “A” cuts, because they’re the ones getting cut out of the equation.
• Others certainly don’t see type “A” as better than everyone else, because that just equals being prideful.

 
It’s great to strive to do a good job, but we can’t always do that whether we’re a type “A” personality or not.
 
> Sometimes we need a little help.
> Sometimes we’ve taken on too big of a job for one person.
> Sometimes, we set ourselves up for failure by trying to not only do the job perfectly, but in record time.
 
A lot of time, the type “A” personality is under a great deal of pressure. They have a reputation to uphold, but that’s not the only reason. They may have parents who expect them to obtain to a certain standard. After all, when the parents were younger they were able to handle the pressure and reach success. Type “A” has to reach it, or they fear their parents won’t love them.
 
And let’s not forget that holding yourself to a high standard doesn’t have to be a bad thing. As long as type “A” doesn’t think that they’re better than everyone else, and they’re willing to ask for help when they need it. True success isn’t a one man show. It takes a collection of people working towards a goal.
 
Whether we have a type “A” personality or someone else we know has one, how can we help them avoid failing and get a better shot at reaching their goals? Take a look at the article, “How to Set and Achieve Goals Based on Your Personality Type,” on fastcompany.com. One of their thoughts is finding and commiting to a goal isn’t the problem. It’s reining them in to ensure that what they’ve chosen is reasonable. Also, they have trouble letting go of a goal when it’s a bad fit, they let one goal take over their lives until it hurts others.
 
Also remember, you always have someone who can strengthen you if you fail and will be with you through success or failure. God will always be your strength.

Here’s one that few people talk about: being fired.
 
This can leave a stigma over you for years to come as people ask why you lost your job.
 

• There are many reasons to lose your job, such as a company downsizing and your job no longer exists. This reason doesn’t leave a stigma and brings with it support from those around you.
• But being fired isn’t the same. Though there may be many people who will help you wade through the waters of job loss, there will also be people who will criticize you and tell you that you could’ve worked harder, or been friendlier with your boss.

 
However, the day you were fired passes into another day and becomes your past. You can’t do anything about the past, but you can do something about today:
 

1. Surround yourself with people who will support you. Let go of those who would criticize you.
2. Take a good look at the situation and learn from it. You can grow from being fired. But you have to choose to move forward.
3. Don’t focus so much on it being your fault, but allow it to teach you how to bounce back and get back into the work force.

 
One of the first steps is to prepare for the doorway into your new job is to develop tools to help you prepare for a job interview:
 

1. Create a “master application.” A master application will have all of the information that you need when filling out a job application such as your employment history with what your title was, job responsibilities, wages earned, contact for prior employers with addresses and phone numbers so prospective employers can contact them.
2. Vamp up your resume. Make sure you not only list jobs you received a salary from but your volunteer experience as well. These days, experience is experience.
3. Create a cover letter that is flexible enough that you can change a few things to match each new job you apply to. Take a look at the job description to find a list of skills you must possess in order to qualify for the job. Highlight in your cover letter and resume the ones that you have experience in.
4. In order to create the best resume and cover letter you also need to research the company that you are applying for a job. This extra step will not only help you match those skills required, but also provide you with information you can use during the interview process. This will help you with the next step.
5. Consider what questions you will most likely will be asked during your interview and have answers prepared ahead of time. This will also help you have a few questions to ask your interviewer. Since you researched the company, it will then be possible to know what to ask.
6. Write a “closer” and memorize it. A closer is what you will say during the last few minutes of the interview. Many employers will ask if you have any questions. That’s your open door.

 
Now that you’ve got the right tools developed to apply for a job, it’s also important to learn skills that will help you stay employed. Forbes.com has an excellent article titled, “5 Job Skills To Get You (And Keep You) Employed.” One of their tips is writing. Writing skills are back in vogue, as nearly everything is communicated through web pages, social media, and email marketing. Also, more specifically with social media, many companies are just realizing the importance of social media for attracting and selling to customers and are scrambling to put together their “social strategies.” Adept users of Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn quite possibly have the skills to help companies with their social strategies.
 
With the right preparation and skills it’s not only possible to recover from being fired, but to find and keep your next job. Remember, God is the one who blesses people with not only the skills they need, but he is also pleased with the work of their hands. Don’t let being fired the reason to give up and end your career. Let it be a stepping stone to a job you can feel good about having.

Disappointment. There it is. Things aren’t turning out the way you wanted them to.
 
Do you believe if you don’t expect something good to happen then you won’t be disappointed? That’s a hard question to ask.
 

1. If you are someone who has been hit in the face, multiple times, with rude mean comments then you probably aren’t looking for someone to speak kindly to you.
2. If you are someone who has only a small amount of physical energy and once again you’ve been made fun of, then you probably aren’t looking for someone to help you finish a task you can’t complete.
3. If you are someone who has tried hard to keep your marriage together but you see hints of inappropriate behavior, then you probably aren’t looking for your marriage to last the lifetime that you wish it could.
4. If you are someone who has a father and mother who don’t support you no matter how many successes you’ve achieved, then you probably aren’t looking for them to tell you that they’re proud of you.

 
With each one of these situations, it shows that you’ve already predicted the outcome. All you see ahead of you is disappointment. And you wonder, “What’s the point of trying when I’ll never see the approval I long for? Nothing will ever turn out the way I want it to be.”
 
Could there be a reason that you’re disappointed most of the time? Could it be that you don’t have any hope left? You’ve been hurt so many times that you don’t think you can handle one more let down.
 
How do we move past disappointment? Chopra.com, in their article, “9 Ways to Overcome Disappointment,” makes some suggestions. Here’s one – Adopt the perspective of an observer rather than a participant. Detaching like this allows you to see with increased clarity. Also, celebrate that you know what you want. By having the feeling of disappointment, it shows that you know what your goal is.
 
Attitude plays a big part in this. I’m opening my journal and writing in it, “Today will be the kind of day that I make it out to be.” That’s right. I said that I make it out to be. In addition, I make it a point to pray that God would open my eyes to see things the way he does. His plan will ultimately be fulfilled. Then I will discover that though one thing may have caused me disappointment, there are many more reasons that brought me joy. Reach for the joy, and let go of the disappointments.

In the ocean, far away from shore, sits a small desert island.
                                                  
The sand dunes shift and change position with each passing breeze. Only a couple of palm trees stand as sentries guarding the island. Not far from the trees, something moves. And then drops to their knees.
 
It’s a person, and there’s no one with them. That’s because they’re stranded on this little desert island, because they can no longer come and go as they please. That’s how a person with chronic pain or an illness feels.
 

• Alone.
• Nothing to see for miles.
• The heat of pain beating them down to the ground.
• Groveling.
• Can’t stand up.
• Can’t move.
• Oppression now holding them down.

 
But that’s not the way it has to be.
 
If you stand up and turn around you’ll see an oasis in the distance. That oasis is made up of people who serve as those two, sentry palm trees, always on duty being your friend in spite of your pain.
 
But you have to take the first step toward them.
Let go of your fears.
If you want things to be different, you must believe they can be.
 
Cnbc.com in their article, “18 Ways Successful People Think Differently,” gives us some ways that we can do things differently and change our present, such as worry, fear, action, and gratitude are all choices you get to make. No one gets to decide anything for you. Every decision is completely yours to make. In addition, today is that second chance you have been asking for. Use it.
 
Take a look at the Bible verse above. There were some men who were blind. They went to Jesus hoping he would heal them. But even though they’d gone to Jesus, they still needed to believe he could do it. It’s the same with us. If we want things to be different we have to believe that God is able to change things. No, he may not change everything, and he might not even change the worst things you’re going through. But he does touch our lives by bring others to stand with us through our trials. God will also bring healing to our hearts and encouragement to strengthen us.

Sometimes anxiety fills our minds for a very good reason:
                                    

• You’ve just balanced your checkbook and discovered you forgot to enter your rent payment into the ledger.
• You’ve just taken an important test which will determine if you can continue to stay in a nursing program you recently started.
• You hear that a friend of yours was just in a car accident and you don’t know how they are.
• You’ve just come back from seeing your doctor and he told you bad news.
• You turn on your TV and see news of a fire burning near where your mom lives and you don’t know how she is.

 
So we see that there are valid reasons for the unease you feel sometimes. However, sometimes anxiety comes on without any apparent reason. It surprises us. We can’t pinpoint where this anxiety is coming from.
 
But what we do know is that once anxiety has a chance to put its foot in your door, it can quickly move into a full blown panic attack.
 

• You’re breathing becomes shallow.
• Your heart races.
• You begin to sweat.
• You can’t think.

 
Here are some ideas that may not completely take away your anxiety, but they can help calm you:
 

1. Take a deep breath and then another.
2. Put down your pen momentarily and think about something else.
3. Focus on how it feels to stroke your dog’s fur.
4. Look out the window and focus on the roses that are in bloom.
5. Turn on some soft music.
6. Make a cup of tea, and let the warmth relax your stiff muscles.

 
Whatever you choose, remember that though you may not believe it, anxiety is under your control. You decide whether you’re going to let your anxiety rule your life. Just believing you can gain back control may be enough to chase away your panic attack.
 
Heleo.com in their article, “10 Simple Strategies to Control Your Anxiety,” provides us with additional ideas on how to get your anxiety under control, such as avoid asking yourself, “What if?” The more time you spend worrying about the possibilies of what may happen, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action and calming yourself. Also, disconnect. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. Choose blocks of time where you cut the cord and go offline.
 
Whether we know the reason we’re feeling anxious or not, with the help of the ideas above, we can release our anxiety into the wind and let peace and calm take its place. And, remember, God asks us to cast all of our anxiety on him. He cares for us and will help us not just find peace for the moment, but will grow that peace into an everyday occurance.

Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with an incurable pain or illness? Finding this out can be devastating to your life. It can cause you to question everything.
 

• Why did this happen to me?
• Why does it have to be incurable?
• Why can’t I find someone who can just perform a surgery and make it all go away?
• Why are people beginning to avoid me?
• Why can’t I stay positive about this?

 
Something good has to come from all of this, right?
 
If you are a friend of someone who is trying to figure out why they have to suffer, and want to truly help, here are some things to keep in mind:
 

1. Don’t start off by trying to give advice about what the sufferer should or should not do. Doing so often fuels the fire of depression which they already experienced when they heard of the bad news.
2. If they ask for your thoughts on the matter, then feel free to comment, but make sure you give only a small amount at a time. It’s easy for them to become overwhelmed.
3. Don’t try to find the perfect words to say. Just listen. This will be a soothing balm to quench those fires of depression.
4. Be there. Really be there. Your actions show your friend that you care about them. For them to know they aren’t alone in this can strengthen their inner being, and help lift some of the depression.
5. If your friend has been staying home and hasn’t gone anywhere since they got the bad news, it may be a good idea to offer to take them for a cup of coffee. A change in scenery often will do them good.

 
Trying to help a friend quench the fires of depression can be difficult if you don’t know where to start. Helpguide.org posts the article, “Helping Someone With Depression – Supporting a Depressed Person While Taking Care of Yourself,” which provides a guide through the symptoms of depression and how a friend or family member can help. It’s especially important to be sensitive to the pain the sufferer is going through, and this article provides ways to start a conversation, and examples of questions you can ask.
 
The fires of depression can quickly spred from one area of your life to every part. You may quickly begin to lose the battle against it, but just as the Bible verse says above, when you have someone else with you, they can give you their strength and you will be bound together in a cord that’s not easily broken or burnt up by those depression fires.

Whether good or bad you’re going to be an example to those around you.
 
What do you want others to see in you?
 

• Are you the overly needy person who wants attention? Are you someone who always wants to be the center of everything? Do you speak louder than those around you, or laugh when something really isn’t funny just to keep control of the conversation?
• Are you the angry person that cuts others down in an effort to make yourself feel better? Are you quick to point out other’s faults while bragging about your exploits? Do you have a small threshold for your anger spilling out all over everyone near you? Do you use your anger to get your way all of the time?
• Or are you the person who cares more about what the other person is feeling than to talk and talk about yourself? Do you strive for balancing what you want to say with giving enough time to the other person so they can finish their line of thinking? Do you see a need, and try to fill it because you care about the other person?

 
Take care with what you do and say. It may be difficult to speak kindly to others sometimes, but doing so reaps a rich relationship where your friends truly feel that you care.
 
This will be the result:
 

• People will pay attention to you and your needs without you seeking attention.
• You’ll trade cutting your friends down to making them feel better about themselves and so they will.
• You will be that person who cares more about other people than yourself, and in return, you may be surprised that others will lavish care upon you.

 
You may feel afraid to look out for others before yourself. But you may be surprised at how good you feel about your life when it’s centered on someone other than yourself.
 
Kellyexeter.com.au, in their article, “5 Easy Things We Can All Do to Look Out For Each Other,” says that you may think you don’t have enough time to take care of yourself let alone others, but in fact, you do. The article has some ideas such as give people the benefit of the doubt because you don’t know what’s going on in their lives, and ditch the sarcasm and snark for cheering people up.
 
Even though the Bible verse above speaks about a young person, the second part talks about the kind of example you set. We are to be an example that God can use to show the world his love, through our speech and deeds. And this is the kind of example that will answer the question to what you want others to see in you in a positive way. Be that example, and others will notice.

Chains today are used for many purposes:
 

• A sliding chain can be used on a door to add extra protection when it’s locked.
• A chain with a lock may be used to keep gates shut and keep a home or business protected from intruders.
• A chain can be used to lock a bycicle or a motorcycle so that it’s harder to steal.
• And a chain can be used as a necklace around your neck with a locket hanging from it.

 
So you see, chains can provide security and beauty. Yet, there’s another kind of chain – one that doesn’t protect you, but keeps you bound to slavery and from being able to escape.
 
Chains to our old life can keep us handcuffed and unable to erase the scars forming around our wrists and ankles. Each time we move, the chain rubs and reminds us about the choices we made in the past, and the ones we’re making right now.
 
Sometimes we feel like we will never escape and find freedom. It can seem too hard to even try. So how do I unlock the chains of my past? Wikihow.com in their article, “How to Let Go of the Past,” passes on some key ways on how to do just that. One of the keys is to shift your behavior. If you do things the same way over and over again, it can feel like the past keeps popping up. Another key is don’t fear failure. If your past has created some sort of fear about a certain circumstance or part of life, activily work on beating that fear back.
 
Jesus died for us and has the keys to unlock our chains. We simply need to accept them from his hands and use them. And just as the Bible verse above says, once we are free, we must choose to not let ourselves be chained to what used to hold us fast.

There are different reasons why we put a smile on our face:
 

• Maybe we don’t want others to know what’s going on in our life so we just pretend everything’s okay.
• Maybe we want others to hang around with us, and if we show pain we may push them away.
• Maybe we have a real smile in spite of what’s happening.
• Maybe we want to have a positive influence on our world by showing that no matter how weak or strong we may be joy can be found, and it may begin with our smile.

 
There’s one more reason, though, maybe that smile means you’re trying to hold onto control because you’re afraid of what others would think of you if you didn’t smile.
 
The negative.
The positive.
 
What’s the true story?
 
Life gets tiring and sometimes the reason we’re so tired is that giving a false smile takes a lot of energy. Sometimes we walk into a conversation where everyone else is laughing and we don’t feel like laughing because our emotional pain is off the charts. Do you laugh when you’re crying inside? Do you make an excuse to walk about from your friends?
 
I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m glad that I have people in my life who help me find a balance, and who believe in me enough to allow me the freedom to show my real emotions. That balance I’m talking about is learning to live a life that is real.
 
There’s something else that can explain what we’re going through and give us some hope. It’s a condition called, Smiling Depression. Nami.org posts the article, “What You Need to Know About ‘Smiling Depression.’ ” In the article they explain that smiling depression involves appearing happy to others and smiling through the pain, keeping the inner turmoil hidden. It’s a major depressive disorder. One thing that you can do is to find things that are meaningful to you and help you feel productive and accomplished.
 
God wants us to be able to smile when it’s for the right reason. He will also answer us when we call to him for help in living a real life. He will bring us relief from all of the distress we feel in our heart when we’re trying to decide if it’s an okay time for us to smile. As long as our motives are to live a life that is real in our actions and emotions, he will help us do it.
 
Watch out: Smiling Depression can be dangerous because it can have a connection to suicide. One of the ways to help yourself and others who are depressed is to seek help. If you or a loved one are having thoughts about suicide seek help immediately. It is a matter of life and death. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 or simply dial 911.

Isaiah 59:14 - So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance; truth has stumbled in the streets, honesty cannot enter.

Watching bad news unfold can cause our physical and emotional pain to increase.
               
We’ve certainly had a lot of bad news lately. At some point though, we may need to curb our viewing of the news especially if we find ourselves obsessing over it. It’s so easy to do, because we have instant access through our computers and cell phones to news that is happening right at the moment it happens. Then, as we become emotionally involved in the news, we can feel our muscles tighten and bring pain to our body and to our mind.
 
But it’s not just what’s happening around the world or even in our own towns and cities. It’s also how we speak to each other about what’s happening. I’m not trying to judge someone. We all can fall into being drawn to a negative news story and make it seem worse than it is when we talk about it to our friends.
 
But watch out.
 
It used to be that people took care with how they used their words whether on TV or off. But now, the gloves have been removed and people blurt out what first comes out of their mouths without thinking before they speak. The anger they feel over what’s going on oozes out of their mouths defaming whoever they are talking about.
 
What happened to common courtesy and respect for the other person? We pass around gossip quite easily whether it’s true or not. And isn’t that what the news media in a way also does? If they hear of a story that they think they can write about, they jump on it. But they don’t just report the truth of what’s happening. They twist and turn it and blow it up to be more than what it really is. And then the headaches start, followed by stomach upset and pain quickly spreads throughout our bodies.
 
Cnn.com, in their article, “Too Much Bad News Can Make You Sick,” talks about the damaging health risks that come with watching bad news such as lack of restful sleep, anxiety, depression, headaches, muscle tension, and stomach problems to name a few. The article also posts a video showing how we can’t avoid stress, but we can manage it with suggestions in the video on how to do just that.
 
Justice truly is being driven back and truth has stumbled in the streets and onto our TV where honesty doesn’t ever enter. It has to start with you and me. We may not be able to prevent what those in the news say, but we can certainly ask the Lord to put a guard on our mouths also that we don’t twist the truth and cause someone pain in the process.