Psalm 34:15 - The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry.
Against the far corner of the room stood an old grandfather clock. Its top most part housed the clock works and almost reached the ceiling. The clock was made of a light-colored wood with glass etchings covering the clock face. The chimes hung gracefully and traveled ever downward with each movement of the pendulum.
The clock was a prized possession of its owner having been built by her father many years ago before he passed. But though it was the owners pride and joy, the clock did not bring her peace, but a constant reminder of how behind she got with her work each day. The clock served as a commanding general handing out commands with each beat, and she felt like she was always being watched.
It was as if the General was pointing his finger at her and bending down to catch her in the act of taking even a short break. And so it drove her onward with each sound of the clock. When the chimes rang out, at quarter, half, three-quarter and hour they always made her jump.
She thought off moving the clock into a more secluded part of the house instead of in the living room which she passed through during the day. You see, she did not leave her home each day to venture out into the world to her job, because she was a writer and her home was her work place. And so the General’s eyes were ever upon her.
This tale of the clock and its owner doesn’t stop with just the grandfather clock. In almost every room of her home, there stood a clock ticking out the time as if they were captains and privates in the General’s army.
Some people have the fortune of being more laid back than others. The clocks that sit upon their desks and bedside tables don’t threaten them nor do they demand attention. The purpose of the clock for them is just to mark the time. Nothing more. Nothing less. They didn’t feel the presence of someone watching their every move.
Wrestling with feelings of inadequacy is one reason why we can struggle with feeling watched. We may have failed many times in the past to be who others think we should be, and believe we will always let those around us down.
Thesciencealert.com in their article, “Ever Feel Like You’re Being Watched? It’s Not You,” suggests some ideas of why your feel watched. One possibility is that your observer has noticed you turning around, and looked up at you in return, so even though you’re being watched, it’s only because you’ve turned around. Another one is some slight clue has alerted you to the presence of someone else. This article provides several other reasons for feeling watched that may not be on purpose at all.
Back to our story about the General. At any given time we can give up the sense of being watched. As the article above discusses, we can begin to believe someone’s eyes on us isn’t on purpose to catch us failing, and we can begin again to believe we are doing a good job with each task that is assigned to us in the day. This way, in a sense, we can stop feeling like we’re being watched even at home simply by not winding up the grandfather clock.
Know also, that the eyes of the Lord are always on us. He knows our fears of inadequacy and can hear our cries to be set free from them. He also sees that we are doing the best that we can with what we have. He will comfort our hearts and help us to stop believing we are always being watched only to see if we will fail, but also when we succeed.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.