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Emotional pain and Loss

Doctors’ Offices Closed and Anxiety Opens its Door

4/24/2020

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Psalm 139:23 – Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
With each day new numbers continue to climb as a result of the Coronavirus (COVID-19).
 
It used to be that if you were sick you could go to your doctor so he could treat you. But that’s not possible right now. Doctors don’t just not want to get sick, but they don’t want their patients to be exposed to possible Coronavirus (COVID-19) so they choose to close their offices.
 
More healthcare workers are due to arrive on the scene, at least in California, where its governor has elected to form the “California Health Corps” initiative. This will help ease the burden for health care providers fighting Coronavirus. You can read more about this needed help on Governor Newsom’s website.
 
This does provide us with some hope, but it doesn’t ease the anxiety that’s on the rise while waiting to have the doors open so healthcare providers can treat those who are ill.
 
What do you do with the anxiety that seems to now only be affecting those with mental health issues but even those who haven’t experienced anxiety in the past?
 
Part of the reason for the rise in anxiety is being bombarded by news outlets providing new numbers and which states have the most cases. If you have a smart phone, it can continue throughout the day news about those who are sick and those who have died.
 
There are real reasons for the anxiety. It’s not just someone who’s struggling with anxiety. It’s even resulted in hoarding at grocery stores. Just ask them where the toilet paper is and you’ll find them flocking in line to get even a small package of toilet paper.
 
It’s not just toilet paper that’s run out. There are many stores that can’t keep up with the demand for meat, soup, and other normal purchases.
 
And now they predict that we’re supposed to stay home until the end of April, which is the time when this article has posted. I do hope by then that things will be different.
 
How well you’re riding out this storm will depend on whether you have people in your life who are supporting you. Thankfully for me and others who have in home support we do have some contact with their workers, which can help shut that door to anxiety. God especially needs to be in your life so that he can calm your anxious thoughts. Anxiety can also rein in on our mental health. Here's a link discussing some financial possibilities on Also, here's a second link to find out about how finances are being affected at https://www.bankrate.com/banking/savings/coronavirus-cash-concerns-virus-spread/.
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Do you Allow Your Abuser Back into Your Life?

4/17/2020

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Malachi 2:16a – For the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates divorce and cruel men.
As a victim of domestic violence I often think about whether I’m supposed to let my abuser back into my life.
 
Abuse damages you not only physically and emotionally but also causes you to question all of your relationships. And even when your abuser isn’t hurting you, the cycle of violence continues.
 
  • Abuse not only has to do with the past, but the present as well.
  • Forgiveness is necessary as it is a means to allow you to let go of the abuser’s hold on you.
  • But trust has to do with the present.
 
Trust must be built by actions showing that your abuser is sorry for what they did to you. But be careful with your heart. Your abuser may know you better than you know yourself. They know just the words to say to reel you in on their fishing line and catching you off guard yet again.
 
Back to the original question: Do you allow an abuser back into your life.
 
If you don’t trust yourself, it is probably best to stay away from your abuser or anyone else who shows signs of being an abuser.
 
We all want to feel special in someone else’s eyes. We want to be loved and cherished. We want to be able to trust our feelings, but you can’t.
 
Where it comes to moving forward, know that the cycle of abuse can at any time be at the part where they seem sorry. But then the cycle continues, and you find yourself caught once again in a web of lies and pain.
 
According to ashleyeaster.com, in her article, “What Forgiving an Abuser Doesn’t Mean,” other people in your life, like your family, may try to guilt you into having a relationship with someone who has abused you to “keep the family together” by letting an abuser back into your life. One of their quotes has continued to be thrown in my face after years of abuse, “They said they were sorry, why have you cut them out of your life?” Unless you’ve been abused, you can’t understand how hurtful it is to have family members try to guilt you into letting your abuser, most likely their father, back into your life. The pressure is placed on you instead of the abuser. And when I divorced their father they believed I was in the wrong.
 
  • It’s like as if you were at fault for being abused and things would be better if you would just give them another chance, especially if they keep telling your family that you’re the one keeping the family apart.
 
Another thing that I have found is that the family may kick you to the curb instead of the one who continues to abuse them, also.
 
The article also talks about forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation and forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing or overlooking the wrong.
 
  • Abuse did happen.
  • You were abused. It’s not something you made up in your mind.
  • You may have even ended up in the hospital after an abuse.
  • The family can be blind to what you’re going through.
  • The victim must be allowed to decide whether they want the abuser in their life, not the family just deciding you must.
 
One of the things that has hurt me the most over the years is that my family will do things with their father and exclude me. It would seem once again that your pain is downplayed, and they feel sorry for their father. But what if they were abused? They don’t want to feel that pain. They want to feel like nothing bad ever happened.
 
Though God hates divorce, I believe there are situations that make divorce the only choice to avoid being continually abused. Tough choices to have to make, but necessary ones. God hates divorce but he also hates cruel men.
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Lost Joy - Resulting in Thoughts of Suicide

4/10/2020

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1 Kings 19:4 – While he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”
There are things that happen in our lives that take away our joy.
 
  • Things don’t make you laugh anymore.
  • Things don’t fill you with love anymore.
  • Things don’t allow you to work at something purposeful.
  • Things don’t make you feel good about yourself anymore.
 
Sometimes things happen and we give up on life.
 
  • So here you are teetering on the edge of life.
  • Here you are where nothing makes sense.
  • Here you are where you just don’t care about life.
 
And if we’re not careful, we don’t want to live anymore.
 
  • This is a dangerous place to be.
  • Things can get to a point where you want your life to end.
  • Things can get to a point where suicide feels like the only option to rid yourself of your pain.
 
Suicide. It’s not something that’s discussed. It’s like a hidden secret which wants to stay hidden. But we must not just be vigilant about how we are feeling, but also those around us.
 
I’ve been at this place before.
 
I’ve experienced so much physical and emotional pain that I’ve felt I don’t have any strength left to go on.
 
Let’s take a look at some of the warning signs of suicide on save.org in their article titled, “Warning Signs of Suicide.” The article lists many warning signs and a few of them are talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself; looking for a way to kill oneself, talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose, and talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Lifeline (USA) at 1-800-273-8255 or text SIGNS to 741741 for 24/7, anonymous, free crisis counseling.
 
Though it may not feel like it, suicide is not the only way out of depressing and morbid thoughts. A prophet in the Bible also felt depressed and had morbid thoughts. He’d just had a great victory, but it was followed by being chased by his enemy and asking God to just end his life. God was compassionate to the prophet and he will be compassionate to you, too. Seek out the Lord and he will reveal to you the true blessings and a purpose to make your life feel worthwhile again.

Another way to bring back joy in your life is to give to others. The following is a link where you can donate unused reward miles and points: https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/how-to-donate-unused-rewards-miles-points-1263.php
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You lie all the Time and it’s Hard to Break Free: Live out the Truth

4/3/2020

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Numbers 23:19 – God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
  • No circumstance is worth lying for. Mostly because your lie will come back and bite you. Once you lie, you will find yourself needing to tell more lies in order to keep people from finding out that you’re not telling the truth. This may fragment your relationships.
  • Lying can be a form of self-protection. You may be ashamed at what you’ve done, or you feel that telling the truth will cause people to walk away from you. But even with the prospect of protecting yourself, it’s never worth it.
  • Lying can quickly become a habit. You may feel that it’s worth the risk. But is it? Your habit of lying can soon become part of your character.
  • There are always consequences when lying. It can become easier and easier with each lie you tell.
  • And even if people never find out that you’re lying, you’ll know. What you think of yourself will become thin ice which can easily be broken.
 
In the article, “Lying is a Horribly Destructive Habit,” the author describes how lying can go from one generation to the next. Hurt people will in turn hurt others. In addition, lying can become addictive.
 
How do we stop lying? The article gives us some clues on how to stop. First, admit that you have a problem, remember how lying messes up your life, try to find out what made you lie, tell someone when you lie and practice telling the truth. The article also gives you more ways to help you break your lying cycle for good.
 
Another good thing to remember is that God never lies. And, he always keeps his promises. If you dedicate your life to speak only the truth, then God will honor your efforts and help you put back together the pieces of the relationships you lost due to lying.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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