Romans 15:5 – May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.
Disappointment. It’s here again.
It may hurt when disappointment greets us at the door, but it doesn’t have to permanently live with us. It’s all about attitude.
When we ask someone to do something for us and they back out or say “no”, we can let it simmer underneath the surface. We may act like it doesn’t bother us. Many times though, disappointment builds. However, we must examine the other person’s situation:
Don’t close that person out of your life. Life is full of two sides. We’ve all experienced both needing help and being ready to help. Let’s take a look at this:
When someone needs help it can be confusing to know how to help. This in turn can lead to disappointment. Kristineinbetween.com in their article, “How to Deal When Friends Disappoint You,” has some thoughts on the subject. They suggest that disappointments are often a result of not having your expectations met. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings when you’re disappointed, and speak your mind with grace. Tell them exactly how the disappointment affected you and why you feel the way you do.
Here’s another thought: We must remember to take a look at the situation from all sides. If we don’t, disappointment will begin to eat away at our heart and our relationships with other people. It may help to ask the friend who can’t help you if they know someone who might be able to. Getting someone new’s help may open the door to a new friendship. So keep that attitude in check.
Remember to keep in mind the attitude that Jesus had. He was willing to lay down his life for his friends. We may not be asked to lay down our life, but we may be asked to lay down our disappointments, and be thankful instead. God will indeed give you the endurance to live your life as one who forgives others when they let them down, and help you lend a hand to someone else.
Proverbs 15:13 - A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Do you allow yourself to be happy or do you blame yourself for all that’s wrong in your life?
I was stuck for years in the muck and mire of blaming myself for everything wrong in my life.
I think you can see the pattern that my life followed: I was treated like I couldn’t make decisions on my own and that I was a failure, so I guess I was. I didn’t see that I could have made other choices. Choices I wanted to make.
And what did I want? Happiness.
However, I felt that I might as well expect the worst, because I didn’t deserve to be happy. But that was a lie others told me and one I told myself.
Psychologytoday.com posts some helpful tips on how to deal with unhappiness in their article, “When You Feel You Don’t Deserve to be Happy.” One way that may be causing you to feel you don’t deserve happiness is to have a critical self-image. Those who are perfectionists and hard-driven are constantly critical of themselves and are stuck at the bottom of a well with little or no way to get out. Also, it may be that you feel guilty if you’re happy. When your unhappiness has become your new normal, your view of yourself and what you present to others, can feel unsettling and confusing.
I felt guilty and stuck for a lot of years. However, I had a few friends scattered throughout my life that wanted me to be happy. They wanted good things for me, and strength for the heartaches I’d endured. They also were the ones who offered me a smile and their friendship.
No one can earn that kind of happiness. Money won’t last. You won’t be healthy forever. People will walk out of your life. Sometimes there are floods and sometimes there are droughts.
If you base your life on believing the sun will never shine, you will fail to lift up your eyes and see the rainbow that is over your clouds. God sees our heartaches and wants us to find happiness in him and in the many ways he has blessed us. Know this, no matter how bad it gets the sun will rise tomorrow. So smile, and don’t be afraid to be happy.
Psalm 73:26 - My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
We all make mistakes from time-to-time, so why is it so difficult to admit when we’ve blown it and then move on?
I think people with type “A” personalities have a hard time when they make a mistake because they need to do everything perfectly.
But what they don’t truly grasp is that by pretending to be right all of the time, it pushes other people away.
It’s great to strive to do a good job, but we can’t always do that whether we’re a type “A” personality or not.
> Sometimes we need a little help.
> Sometimes we’ve taken on too big of a job for one person.
> Sometimes, we set ourselves up for failure by trying to not only do the job perfectly, but in record time.
A lot of time, the type “A” personality is under a great deal of pressure. They have a reputation to uphold, but that’s not the only reason. They may have parents who expect them to obtain to a certain standard. After all, when the parents were younger they were able to handle the pressure and reach success. Type “A” has to reach it, or they fear their parents won’t love them.
And let’s not forget that holding yourself to a high standard doesn’t have to be a bad thing. As long as type “A” doesn’t think that they’re better than everyone else, and they’re willing to ask for help when they need it. True success isn’t a one man show. It takes a collection of people working towards a goal.
Whether we have a type “A” personality or someone else we know has one, how can we help them avoid failing and get a better shot at reaching their goals? Take a look at the article, “How to Set and Achieve Goals Based on Your Personality Type,” on fastcompany.com. One of their thoughts is finding and commiting to a goal isn’t the problem. It’s reining them in to ensure that what they’ve chosen is reasonable. Also, they have trouble letting go of a goal when it’s a bad fit, they let one goal take over their lives until it hurts others.
Also remember, you always have someone who can strengthen you if you fail and will be with you through success or failure. God will always be your strength.
Deuteronomy 33:11 - Bless all his skills, LORD, and be pleased with the work of his hands. Strike down those who rise against him, his foes till they rise no more.”
Here’s one that few people talk about: being fired.
This can leave a stigma over you for years to come as people ask why you lost your job.
However, the day you were fired passes into another day and becomes your past. You can’t do anything about the past, but you can do something about today:
One of the first steps is to prepare for the doorway into your new job is to develop tools to help you prepare for a job interview:
Now that you’ve got the right tools developed to apply for a job, it’s also important to learn skills that will help you stay employed. Forbes.com has an excellent article titled, “5 Job Skills To Get You (And Keep You) Employed.” One of their tips is writing. Writing skills are back in vogue, as nearly everything is communicated through web pages, social media, and email marketing. Also, more specifically with social media, many companies are just realizing the importance of social media for attracting and selling to customers and are scrambling to put together their “social strategies.” Adept users of Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn quite possibly have the skills to help companies with their social strategies.
With the right preparation and skills it’s not only possible to recover from being fired, but to find and keep your next job. Remember, God is the one who blesses people with not only the skills they need, but he is also pleased with the work of their hands. Don’t let being fired the reason to give up and end your career. Let it be a stepping stone to a job you can feel good about having.
Proverbs 19:21 – Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.
Disappointment. There it is. Things aren’t turning out the way you wanted them to.
Do you believe if you don’t expect something good to happen then you won’t be disappointed? That’s a hard question to ask.
With each one of these situations, it shows that you’ve already predicted the outcome. All you see ahead of you is disappointment. And you wonder, “What’s the point of trying when I’ll never see the approval I long for? Nothing will ever turn out the way I want it to be.”
Could there be a reason that you’re disappointed most of the time? Could it be that you don’t have any hope left? You’ve been hurt so many times that you don’t think you can handle one more let down.
How do we move past disappointment? Chopra.com, in their article, “9 Ways to Overcome Disappointment,” makes some suggestions. Here’s one – Adopt the perspective of an observer rather than a participant. Detaching like this allows you to see with increased clarity. Also, celebrate that you know what you want. By having the feeling of disappointment, it shows that you know what your goal is.
Attitude plays a big part in this. I’m opening my journal and writing in it, “Today will be the kind of day that I make it out to be.” That’s right. I said that I make it out to be. In addition, I make it a point to pray that God would open my eyes to see things the way he does. His plan will ultimately be fulfilled. Then I will discover that though one thing may have caused me disappointment, there are many more reasons that brought me joy. Reach for the joy, and let go of the disappointments.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.