Being used.
Being used.
Being used.
 
That’s what people feel like when they’re asked to do something all the time, but no one cares to lift a finger to help you.
 
You can’t do anything right!
You can’t do anything right!
 
Nothing you do ever seems to be good enough for others. They pick apart your life ready to let you know just how badly you do things. You slump your shoulders as you try to lift yourself out of the muck and the mire. And just as you start to get out of the deepening muck someone steps on you. You wonder, “Do I deserve to be treated this way. Am I really so low on the totem pole? So, you close your eyes a take a deep breath and move forward anyway.
 
But life doesn’t have to be that way. Regardless what other people think of you, remember the most important voice in your head. God says, “I love you. You are perfect and have everything you need today. Close up those ears that hear you’re worthless and believe in my love and that you do have a purpose each day.”
 
Here are some ideas from huffpost.com in their article, “Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control you.” This will help you get a clearer perspective on what other people think of you. Here are a few things the article lists: stop comparison, you are unique so stop looking at what everybody else is doing; set boundaries, don’t let other people put you down; remind yourself whose life this is, ultimately this is your life, take courage and live the life you were meant to live.
 
The Bible verse above is centered around Timothy who was being put down because of his age. How was he to combat that? By setting a good example. And yes, in speech too. It’s tempting when being mistreated and used that your heart can be changed into stone. Don’t let that happen. You are the one to set the bar by your speech, conduct, love, faith and purity.
 
If you do this, you may still take on some criticism and begin to develop thick skin. Or like what other people have said, “Let it roll off you like a duck.”

With Christmas just around the corner, I have some good memories, but more bad memories.
 
Not everyone looks forward to Christmas.
 
Mine was filled with a drunk father and the sound of painful cries from my mother.
 
It was very difficult times, because though my father would act cruelly, but he always provided for us materially.
 
We never had to worry if we’d have food to eat.
We never had to worry if we’d have a roof over our heads.
 
But I truly wish there had been more love in our home. So, my goal is to encourage others and pray for them to be able to look forward to Christmas. We must look at our current “happy” memories that are being made.

In their article on yourrealdreams.com, “How to Have a Christmas that works for you in spite of all the mayhem, drama and tragic memories,” has some ideas to help you cope during Christmas time. One idea is it’s not my job to fix others, I can accept people as is, where is, right now. In addition, it’s okay if others get angry, and it’s okay to say no. Read the rest of the suggestions on the link above.
 
Remember if you don’t have a lot of happy memories, take time this year to make happy memories with your family and friends and respect their boundaries. And as the Bible verse above says, let’s give God thanks for sending his Child to us and that we are protected in His love. Also, if you find yourself on a bed of pain this Christmas you’re not alone.
 
Merry Christmas and many blessings for the New Year!

Luke 2:16 – So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in a manger.
 
As the holidays are upon us, what do you do if your family is gathering 3 hours away? It takes so much to just function and take care of the needs of your chronic pain or an extended illness.
 
You might be okay with having to be alone, unless your family can’t understand how you don’t muster up enough strength despite of your chronic pain.
 
There’s also emotional pain and loss involved. You feel yourself falling deeper into the valley of depression.
 
The holidays can be difficult even if you don’t have a chronic condition:
 

• You may wonder if you decide to go on a trip, whether you can make it through the holidays while feeling sick. So, you stay home.

 

• You put up Christmas decorations including decorating your small tree which sits on you corner table. There are the shelves to place angels and other Christmas figures such as your manger scene.

 
Yes, it hurts to lug the box out of your closet which holds your Christmas treasures. But you don’t feel like decorating. All you can think about is how unfair it is that you can’t gather with your family those 3 hours away.
 
And your chronic pain kicks up a notch as you reminisce about days gone by. You think of the Christmas’ with your little ones hanging ornaments on the lower branches of the tree. With a manger scene and the effort that it took to get everything out, you loved the memories you were making.
 
But what about this Christmas? What kind of memories would you make? You’d probably visit your bathroom more often caused by the extreme pain you’re in. Is it possible to feel in the Christmas mood?
 
First, Christmas isn’t about the decorations. It’s about focusing on Christ’s birth. He should be the center of our thoughts. This should at least make you feel grateful for the baby who would become a man and eventually die for our sins.
 
That’s why we lug that manger scene box out so that you can look upon it, even if no one in your family will see it. It’s about you and remembering. Is it so bad that you can’t travel? Maybe they’d give you a phone call and all say, “Merry Christmas,” to you. That would make your heart beat with love.
 
And don’t forget to mail your adult children money for them to put towards a Christmas gift.
 
Here are some more ideas on how to make Christmas a time of joy even if you battle chronic pain, on buzzfeed.com, in their article, “A Guide to spending Christmas Alone.” Some of their suggestions include: Many people are alone at Christmas but it’s okay to be alone. You can choose to do some of the traditional things you would do if you were with your family and create some new ones. Being alone may make you feel sad but create your own new Christmas traditions. Here’s some ideas: work on your hobby, eat yummy food, or binge-watch a show or movie series. Whatever you choose to do, try to not let chronic pain ruin your Christmas.
 
And just like the Bible verse above says. The shepherds hurried to see the baby that the angels had told them. You, too, can hurry off to see the baby. Turn on some Christmas music and if you find a song you like, turn the volume up on your CD player and sing loudly as you find yourself not so lonely anymore.

We know that we experience different seasons: fall, winter, spring and summer. But did you know there are also different seasons in our emotional pain journey?

• Spring – Your emotional state has been waiting a long time to get out of the season of winter and now begin your journey up towards summer. You make plans for a vacation (an emotional vacation) and begin to feel hope shinning onto our lives.

 

• Summer – Hope is here. All is right with the world and we’re enjoying life.

 

• Fall – We enjoy the beauty of fall leaves changing color, but it’s no fun realizing you’re about to head into a difficult time of season of our emotional pain. Thus, fall can be trying on your mind.

 

• Winter – Then comes winter. A time of coldness, darker days and a sense of lonesomeness as we openly battle a season of depression. You feel yourself retreating daily until you don’t want to leave your home and head out into the world. We think about how lonely we are, but we don’t want to try making new friends because we usually end up getting hurt. Expectations fail to become reality.

 
If we can just hang on until the next season, we can find we’ve discovered hope thus depression no longer has a hold on us. Thecut.com in their article, “How to Help Someone with Depression,” provides us examples of how we should start conversations with someone we care about that we suspect are depressed, such as using open ended conversations. “How are doing lately?” “Are you struggling with anything?” “Can I help you?” Find more ways to help someone who is depressed in the article.
 
If you’re the one who is suffering from depression, know that this season can pass if you keep our eyes on God and how he has been faithful to you in the past. Hang onto hope. And if your depression is a heavy load on you, seek help. Whether it be a friend who will listen to you or receiving a counseling from a therapist. This too shall pass.