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Emotional pain and Loss

Being Treated With Respect

6/21/2019

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Romans 13:7 - Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
Sometimes when we are ridiculed and criticized by others it can dig a hole deep in our hearts which causes pain. But as hard as this may be to hear, we’ve taught people how to treat us whether with respect or criticism.
 
If you are an aggressive person, then you push people around to get your way. You yell. You stomp your feet. You pretty much act like a two-year-old who’s being blocked from getting his way.
 
Does this describe you? Then it’s time to grow up. People may appear to respect the one who is a bully, even at fifty years old, but they keep their thoughts to themselves for fear of the consequences.
 
If you are a passive aggressive person, then you also try to push people around in order to get your way, but you do it by way of manipulation. You pout. You give people the “silent” treatment. You speak with a wine in your voice. You feel sorry for yourself. And, you’re still acting like a two-year-old.
 
Does this describe you? Then, yes, it’s also time for you to grow up. Nobody even tries to hide that they have no respect for a passive aggressive individual. And, it makes for a life with few friends.
 
If you are an assertive person, you don’t have to bully or manipulate people to do what you want. That’s because people are willing to help you even before you ask. They see how you treat others with respect. They see how you are willing to see both sides of a story and are open to receive advice.
 
You can see how each personality type teaches those around them how to treat them.  This is not to place guilt on you, but to help you open up your thoughts to see that you might be at least partly responsible for the grief you receive from others.
 
Let’s correct that problem. Today, begin treating yourself with respect.
 
  1. Believe that what you do daily is making a positive effect on others. Your encouragement of a fellow co-worker or friend has an impact on your relationship with them and how you see yourself. Offering to help someone when they’re stuck trying to solve a problem, will show you really do care about them.
  2. Focus on your talents not your lack of them. You may not think that you have any talents, but each one of us has at least one thing we are good at. It may be as small as noticing when someone has had a hard day and telling them how much their effort means to you and to those around them. It can also be the ability to make sure your family is fed and that meals are always warm when you serve them.
  3. Everyone has a place to fill that no one else can. This is similar to acknowledging that you have talents to offer to others. The difference is, though, that you believe enough in yourself to see that no one else can do what you do in the way you do it. We are each unique individuals with a role to play.
  4. Believe in yourself and who God made you to be. God has a plan for your life even if you can’t see it right now. Keep moving in the right direction using your talents in a place that no one else has a chance to be in. It’s your time. It’s your place, and you can be who God believes you can be.
 
Here are a few more ideas on how to begin to respect yourself on thehopeline.com in their article, “How to Respect Yourself More.” Here’s a good one, “Don’t let other people’s opinions about you control you.” If you’re an approval addict this may be hard to do, but you, “must break free from the grip of others.” Another suggestion is, “Don’t let anybody force you to be or do anything you don’t want to do or be, simply to gain their approval or friendship.”
 
I believe that if you start treating yourself with respect others will soon travel in that direction, too. You can retrain others to believe in the gifts and talents that you have to offer. And just as the Bible verse says above, God also wants us to not only give respect to others, but to ourselves.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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