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Emotional pain and Loss

Communication: It’s Not Just About What We Say but How We Say it

10/2/2020

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Luke 6:45 - A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
“Well, Susan, it’s time to hang up for now. We’ll talk later.”
 
“Ok, Denise. Have a good day. Bye.”
 
Let’s take a look at this conversation. When you end a phone call do you say your “goodbye” with a monotone voice, a depressed goodbye with a downward tone, or with your voice lifted?
 
I’ve thought a lot about this lately and have been paying attention to my phone conversations. I think the tone of your voice at the end a phone call matters.
 
I know you may be depressed, angry, or have had a really bad day. You don’t feel like being positive.
 
And I’m not suggesting that we try to hide what’s going on. Sometimes there are very valid reasons why our voice may be shaking as in the loss of a loved one or frustration with a project that keeps hitting roadblocks.
 
However, often our feelings are expressed in our words and how we say them. Our communication with others is not just about what we say but how we say it that counts.
 
And, since we can’t see the reactions of a caller through facial features or body language, the words we speak, and the tone of our voice is that much more important. It may be the only thing we have to go on. The same is true of the listener becoming the speaker. It shows the attitude you’re showing to that person.
 
While speech is how you use words, voice is how you create sound. To your listeners, your voice is a part of who you are and what you believe.
 
Wikihow.com in their article, “How to Develop a Friendly Tone of Voice,” talks about some of the things that affect how we speak including changing your speaking patterns by slowing down your speech as well as important words in your sentence should be spoken in a higher pitch while lower pitches can show calmness to your listeners and will keep people engaged while you speak. In addition, don’t just keep the conversation one sided. Allow your listening time to speak into the conversation as well.
 
The Bible verses above talk about our hearts and that what we speak is out of the overflow of our hearts. What’s inside finds its way outside. So let’s paint a picture with our voice that we want to pass on to our listener.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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