Fires of Depression

Ecclesiastes 4:12 - Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with an incurable pain or illness? Finding this out can be devastating to your life. It can cause you to question everything.
 

• Why did this happen to me?
• Why does it have to be incurable?
• Why can’t I find someone who can just perform a surgery and make it all go away?
• Why are people beginning to avoid me?
• Why can’t I stay positive about this?

 
Something good has to come from all of this, right?
 
If you are a friend of someone who is trying to figure out why they have to suffer, and want to truly help, here are some things to keep in mind:
 

1. Don’t start off by trying to give advice about what the sufferer should or should not do. Doing so often fuels the fire of depression which they already experienced when they heard of the bad news.
2. If they ask for your thoughts on the matter, then feel free to comment, but make sure you give only a small amount at a time. It’s easy for them to become overwhelmed.
3. Don’t try to find the perfect words to say. Just listen. This will be a soothing balm to quench those fires of depression.
4. Be there. Really be there. Your actions show your friend that you care about them. For them to know they aren’t alone in this can strengthen their inner being, and help lift some of the depression.
5. If your friend has been staying home and hasn’t gone anywhere since they got the bad news, it may be a good idea to offer to take them for a cup of coffee. A change in scenery often will do them good.

 
Trying to help a friend quench the fires of depression can be difficult if you don’t know where to start. Helpguide.org posts the article, “Helping Someone With Depression – Supporting a Depressed Person While Taking Care of Yourself,” which provides a guide through the symptoms of depression and how a friend or family member can help. It’s especially important to be sensitive to the pain the sufferer is going through, and this article provides ways to start a conversation, and examples of questions you can ask.
 
The fires of depression can quickly spred from one area of your life to every part. You may quickly begin to lose the battle against it, but just as the Bible verse says above, when you have someone else with you, they can give you their strength and you will be bound together in a cord that’s not easily broken or burnt up by those depression fires.

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