Romans 15:7 - So accept each other just as Christ has accepted you; then God will be glorified.
It feels sometimes like the world has stopped giving validation. The simple words, “I’m proud of you,” provide a stepping stone that can give someone the strength and courage to continue to press on in the tasks being performed.
So, when was the last time that you heard someone tell you they were proud of you?
I know for me, sometimes it has not been days since I’ve received validation, but more like years.
Compliments also, have almost vanished. Oh there are those who dish out compliments, but most of the time the person saying them is looking for something in return. Or, the compliments are not given in sincerity, but almost flippantly.
Another way that validation is slipping away is because of the lack of two words, “Thank you.” Appreciation for something done for us is a lost art. Some parents will teach their children to say, “thank you,” but most skip that part. To tell someone thank you teaches a child, and an adult, how to be more grateful people.
We are a world in which the opposite of, “I’m proud of you,” reigns. So many times people criticize, complain, and tell others that there’s nothing they do is right. A child learns from watching their parents take each other for granted and in turn their life becomes predestined to instead of validating others, but to hurt another person’s spirit.
There are always ways in which we can find a reason to validate another person. And as a bonus attach a smile to the validation. It may be just what an individual needs. Perhaps we can’t change the whole world all at once, but becoming people who validate each other can go a long way.
How can we break this cycle and create a world where people validate each other?
In the first place, we can learn to be proud of ourselves. There is a good pride that we can foster. One that doesn’t try to puff themselves up by telling other people, but by recognizing the many ways you make a difference in the world. Notice what you’re doing and try not to be so hard on yourself. Everyone can find at least one thing that they do well. Let your mind rest on that and tune out the people who are constantly putting you down.
Wikihow.com posts the article, “How to Be Proud of Who You Are,” which provides some concrete ways to validate yourself such as, remind yourself that everyone has flaws and standing up for yourself.
Then once we are validating ourselves on a regular basis, it can become easier to valid others with, “I’m proud of you,” “you look beautiful today,” and, “thank you for helping me with this project.” By validating someone you will find yourself more accepting of other people, and it will become easier to notice when someone is doing the right thing instead of the wrong. Select the link below to find an article on psychologytoday.com titled, "Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance," for more ideas.
And, just as the Bible verse above says, when we accept others then Jesus will accept us. That acceptance will bloom into validation and produce a garden of taking one step forward to making the world a place where again, “I’m proud of you” becomes an everyday occurrence.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.