Proverbs 15:13 - A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Do you allow yourself to be happy or do you blame yourself for all that’s wrong in your life?
I was stuck for years in the muck and mire of blaming myself for everything wrong in my life.
I think you can see the pattern that my life followed: I was treated like I couldn’t make decisions on my own and that I was a failure, so I guess I was. I didn’t see that I could have made other choices. Choices I wanted to make.
And what did I want? Happiness.
However, I felt that I might as well expect the worst, because I didn’t deserve to be happy. But that was a lie others told me and one I told myself.
Psychologytoday.com posts some helpful tips on how to deal with unhappiness in their article, “When You Feel You Don’t Deserve to be Happy.” One way that may be causing you to feel you don’t deserve happiness is to have a critical self-image. Those who are perfectionists and hard-driven are constantly critical of themselves and are stuck at the bottom of a well with little or no way to get out. Also, it may be that you feel guilty if you’re happy. When your unhappiness has become your new normal, your view of yourself and what you present to others, can feel unsettling and confusing.
I felt guilty and stuck for a lot of years. However, I had a few friends scattered throughout my life that wanted me to be happy. They wanted good things for me, and strength for the heartaches I’d endured. They also were the ones who offered me a smile and their friendship.
No one can earn that kind of happiness. Money won’t last. You won’t be healthy forever. People will walk out of your life. Sometimes there are floods and sometimes there are droughts.
If you base your life on believing the sun will never shine, you will fail to lift up your eyes and see the rainbow that is over your clouds. God sees our heartaches and wants us to find happiness in him and in the many ways he has blessed us. Know this, no matter how bad it gets the sun will rise tomorrow. So smile, and don’t be afraid to be happy.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.