Proverbs 16:7 - When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.
Here we go again – Your family is trying to make up their minds about what they’re going to do as you approach a family event.
You’d like to give your opinion and tell them what you want to do, but it’s like as if you’ve shrunk to the size of a peanut and nobody is paying attention to you. Sometimes it feels like they stomp on the peanut and sweep the crumbs out the door.
Why is it that you always have to give up what you want and concede to everyone else’s wishes?
It may be that while you were growing up you found it easier to be a people pleaser and let your wishes go.
It happened through grade school.
It happened through high school.
It happened through your marriage.
And it’s happening now with your adult children and siblings.
Is it wrong to express what you want? Should you push your will onto everyone else’s to get your way? Is there a better way to communicate your desires? Let’s find out.
First, what you want does matter. Each person in a family has something worth giving. Yes, and that also means you.
Second, it may be that people push you aside because you’ve never expressed your wishes. Your family may think that you’re fine with whatever everyone else wants. Maybe they do care, but they don’t know there’s a problem.
Third, you don’t have to be afraid of expressing what you want and receiving a “no” answer. If you gradually increase expressing your desires, it may be that your family will not only hear your take on the matter, but they may run with it.
Find some more ideas on how to communicate your desires in the article, “15 Ways to Express Needs and Desires,” on vincegowmon.com, such as be calm and ask for what you want more of instead of less.
With some communication advice under our belt, we can then begin to improve on expressing our needs and wants to others while also being willing to listen to theirs. This will help us to keep our relationships growing and open instead of animosity taking over, and causing us to feel like the enemy even to our family. As the Bible verse above talks about, God can make even our enemies be at peace with us and no longer be our enemy.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.