Psalm 143:8 - Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
Out the front window you can see your car parked in the driveway. That’s the same place the car bedded down for the night for many years. Yet sitting there, with no one in front of the wheel, the car is alone.
Alone. That’s a word that you’ve felt for some time yourself. You’ve been stranded on a desert island, because you can no longer come and go as you please.
I know what that’s like, because I’m the one looking out my window, but the car’s not just parked there alone. It’s gone. Someone else has it. And with the loss of my car came a loss of my independence.
But it’s a choice I had to make. About three years ago I developed double vision. There were many things that the doctors tried to help my vision go back to normal. But it hasn’t.
I thought I’d be independent again after purchasing new glasses. And yes, the glasses did help some. But not enough. So here I am, looking out my window and feeling alone.
Now I have to depend on other people to take me where I need to go – the grocery store, church, to pick up prescriptions and to doctor’s appointments. Depending on other people has not always been easy for me, because of my past. It’s really a trust issue.
Trusting the person behind the wheel. Trusting that they’ll get you to your appointments on time. Trusting that this is what they want to do not something that’s been thrust upon them that they feel they have to do, “their duty”.
Many people have been kind to me and have supported my mixed feelings about needing someone else’s help. I look at them in the eye and wonder if they think I’m in some way faking what my body is going through and that I want to be sick. Just so that I have someone to see. To talk to. To feel for a few moments like someone cares.
So if I break through my trust issues and lay my needs at the feet of another person, it has been my goal to not just take their help, but to also give something back in return. My gift back to the people who support me is to encourage them. Just because they have the physical ability to drive you somewhere, or clean your house or cook some meals, they have needs, too. I watch for small opportunities to clearly tell them how important they are and what their service means to me.
Leanonwe.com in their article, “5 Simple Ways to Help Your Senior Trust a New Caregiver,” provides us with some suggestions you can take to ease a new caregiver into the care for a senior. Their suggestions can also apply to someone who has in-home support service but not a live-in caregiver. First, they suggest that you involve other family members. Get the help on some responsibilities from other family members. This can help the senior get used to trusting other people to help them. Along the same vein, transition slowly. Plain a visit from the new caregiver to simply get to know the senior. This will help with trust issues as they build confidence in this new person in their lives. The family should share with the senior their feelings about the process and ask for the senior’s feelings as well. Feeling needed and involved, rather than helpless, is an important element of a senior’s emotional heath.
When we trust in God’s unfailing love, he will show us the way to go. And that means he will also direct us toward someone we can trust to help fill in the gap for us.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.