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Emotional pain and Loss

Lost Family

10/5/2018

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1 Timothy 5:4 - But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
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You glance at the clock one more time. It’s six-thirty and you’re still at work. You have a deadline to make. You have to stay late and finish it, right?
                                      
But with every choice we make in life, there is always a consequence for that choice. Right now the choice you have is to finish the project at work that you’ve been working on all week regardless of the toll it takes home.
 
You glance at your calendar. How did the end of the month come so quickly this year? But you had to finish. Your family would understand, right? It may be Friday and you know it’s game night and your family will be upset that you’re missing it, but they’d miss the paycheck wouldn’t they, if you lost your job? But would you lose your family in the end by too many late nights at work?
 
  • Consequences
  • Reaping what you sow
  • The end justifies the means
  • Everyone’s counting on you
  • How to balance it all out
  • Job or family
 
It’s not fair that no matter what you choose, someone’s going to be disappointed in you. Maybe by now your family would understand, or maybe they would stop caring if you even showed up.
 
Kids get the brunt of this argument. They know that you’re missing out on their life.
 
At first they may feel sad inside
Then they may start accepting your excuses
But then they begin to believe that they’re just not that important to them
This then begins to brew a pot of anger
 
  • Simmering
  • Smoldering
  • Steaming
  • Blowing your whistle
 
But then something happens –
 
  • They get older
  • They no longer care what you do
  • They take the pot off the stove
  • Dump the water
  • Let the pot cool
  • Then they put the pot back in the cupboard
 
And they get used to life without any coffee.
 
They don’t need you anymore. They’ve found friends to hang out with. And even if you finally figured out what you’ve been missing by not being home for your family, it’ll be too late.
 
You’ve lost your family.
 
There are a few people who seem to have figured out how to balance work and family, but you haven’t quite figured it out.
 
Before you took your first job, it would’ve been nice if someone had held a seminar on how to make it in this fast paced world and still have a great home life. So what are some things we can do to balance work and family? Familylives.org.uk,in their article, “How to Keep a Work-life Balance,” has some great ideas such as come in relaxed.Your family will notice when you are stressed and that will affect them. An important idea is to come in and eat with your children even if it’s just a snack after work. Sitting down with your family together will help them know that you may be busy, but you still care about them and their needs. This way you won’t lose your family.
 
Take a look at the Bible verse above. Though this post isn’t about widows necessarily,  it still applies to the topic. We must learn to put what we believe into action by caring for our families first. This doesn’t mean that we should not work hard, but we acknowledge that taking care of our families is pleasing to God. In all we do every day whether it is at home or at our jobs, we need to make sure our priorities are in the right place. Let’s be sure to put things the way they were meant to be. In this way you’ll make sure that you haven’t lost your family.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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