Psalm 33:20, 21 - He is our help and our shield for our heart rejoices in Him because we trust in His holy name. Let Thy loving kindness be upon us as we have hoped in thee.
For those of who have experienced abuse, trust is difficult.
It’s hard to trust others.
It’s hard to trust we will make the right decisions when it comes to friends.
It’s hard to make friends.
It’s hard to believe we won’t be hurt this time, with this new friend.
But if you can’t trust yourself, life can be lonely. Lack of trust keeps the door to our heart locked. It’s easier to be alone then it is to be hurt. So, we stay behind our doors and we don’t go outside. It’s safer to avoid other people and attending events, because we don’t trust that things can be different.
Abuse leaves us exposed. We think that anyone who crosses our path is out to hurt us.
Life wasn’t meant to be lived alone. It was made for abundance. But there can’t be a fruit tree in the garden of our lives if we don’t plant the seedling.
Yet, the one who is the abuser also lives a life alone, and a life of shame. Maybe at first, they started out believing things can be different. That they won’t set out to cause others pain. Yes, they inflicted pain on others because that’s the only way they know to live.
It’s a circle for the one who is abused. At first, our new friend is fun to be around and likes us. But then, you say something, and it starts the cycle again. Anger begins to boil. The next person they meet causes their anger to become physical. Then after the abuse has stopped the abuser says that it will never happen again. They apologize and apologize, but it doesn’t take away the pain in their victim.
Part of avoiding abuse and learning to trust again is learning about abuse and what starts the abuse and how it becomes a wheel of violence. Theduluthmodel.org explains the cycle of abuse and posts a video describing the circle.
It is possible to learn to trust again no matter how difficult it is. But most importantly we must learn the early warning signs that the cycle is starting so that we can seek help. If you are afraid of your partner or of someone is beginning to show that he will hurt you, it’s time to seek help. Leave the situation and call 911 for help.
Our ultimate help comes from God. He is our help and shield and we can trust in him. He’s not out to hurt us but to provide a covering over us. His loving kindness does not come at the cost of abuse. God is worth putting our trust and hope in.
Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.