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Emotional pain and Loss

When People Try to Tell You What to Do

8/28/2020

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1 Timothy 5:13 – Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.
It’s good to have friends.
It’s good to have family that care about you.
 
But what if your friends or family have a tendency to tell you what to do? Well, that can cause you to think less of yourself and stop trusting your judgment.
 
Every time you speak to them, it feels like they try to pick you apart. It feels like no matter what you do it isn’t good enough.
 
They always think that they know better than you, and after all, aren’t they just showing how much they care about you? Wouldn’t it be better if you gave in and did what they were trying to tell you to do?
 
No. Absolutely no. It is important to ask others their opinion on an important decision, but to have to get their opinion on every little thing. No.
 
So how do we put an end to their prying without hurting their feelings? Let’s take a look at an article on psychologytoday.com in their article, “9 Ways to Handle Nosy People.” Though the article has to do with questions people ask you who are just plain nosy, the article can give us some clues on how we can put an end to people prying into our lives. One way is to always tell the truth. Telling lies when trying to prevent people from knowing what you’re doing isn’t going to end well. You’ll run out of lies to cover up lies and you’ll have to tell the truth anyway. This may cause people to try to tell you what to do even more strongly. Also, I like this one: use deflection. Change the subject. If there are other people where you are try shifting your conversation to them.
 
The article helped me see that by changing your focus by subject or finding others can help you feel better about yourself, because you are in charge of the conversation and not the one who’s prying.
 
So as the Bible verse above tells us, let’s not be idle and prying into someone’s life and trying to tell them what to do all of the time. In turn, don’t be the person who pries into other’s lives. Be a good conversationalist, but don’t let it become a heavy pressure on the one who is trying to do the best they can do in the situation they are in.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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