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Emotional pain and Loss

When Your Conversation Turns Upside Down

4/6/2018

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Exodus 4:14 - Then the LORD’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you.
Do you ever have a day when everything you say comes out wrong? No matter how hard you try, it turns upside down.
 
Let’s put out a scenario – Your son is supposed to come over to help you clean up your yard and promises he will be there, but he doesn’t show up.
 
  • Maybe something happened and he will call and tell you later why he didn’t come.
  • Maybe he’s not feeling well and slept past the time he was supposed to come over.
  • Maybe he got called into work at the last minute and he didn’t have time to call you.
 
All of these scenarios can be true, but are they in this case?
 
It’s time for you to get ready for bed and still you haven’t received a phone call from your son. Do you try to call him and find out if he’s okay? Or do you just leave it for the next day and see if he contacts you.
 
  • Mistake number one – You decide to call him.
  • Mistake number two – He answers the phone and resents the fact that you called him. He says that he got busy and just forgot about the yard. He says that it shouldn’t be such a big deal and you’re giving him a hard time over nothing, then he becomes angry.
  • Mistake number three – You haven’t even had a chance to tell him that you are not mad at him, you were just worried something had happened to him. This puts him on the offensive and he begins to chew you out.
  • Mistake number four – You find your inner self begin to shrink. Your heart feels broken as you try again to say something, but it all comes out wrong and your son ends up hanging up on you.
 
This kind of situation, in some form, has happened to all of us. It could be a friend that let you down, or a co-worker who was supposed to help you finish a project. Each time that someone has let you down, you try to tell them that you’re not mad at them, you just want an explanation. Yet, they don’t receive it that way.
 
There must be a better way to communicate to others the right way and not in such a way as your words come out upside down. Forbes.com posts an article titled, “Six Bad Conversation Habits and How to Fix Them,” such as practicing the pause where you count to five before you respond and let others speak first.
 
With help from the article by Forbes, we can begin to learn how to respond in conversation that will not offend the person you are talking to and perhaps this will keep us out of arguments and away from turning our words upside down.
 
Take a look at the Bible verse above. When Moses was told that God would be sending him to Pharaoh to tell him to let the Israelites go, Moses complained that his speech wasn’t eloquent. It made God angry because Moses wasn’t trust God, but he still provided Moses’ brother, Aaron, to speak for him to the Israelites and Pharaoh. God will do the same for you. He might not send you someone to speak for you, but he can give you that quiet assurance that you aren’t alone, and he will help you communicate more effectively.
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    Karen Dalske is a freelance writer, public speaker, is active in her church and writes her blogs out of her own experiences of pain, illness and loss.

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